it feels like i'm back to where i started. it's unfair, i know, i don't feel good about it either. too much information to be absorbed within just few hours. i dont know what to feel right know cos if i'm allowed to say in a vulgar language, i'd say i feel so fucked up. argh, whatever. i don't want to care, i can't think about all this shit now since i need to do my assignments. i am so sick and tired of all these. always happening again and again, why me, out of so many girls out there who are better looking, nicer and kinder? or is it because i don't look good enough??! fuck it. it really sucks to feel this way. it hurts to know the truth, it hurts to have to fake a smile, it hurts to know that i can't stay sad because i cannot show it because i need to be strong for my friends' sake. someone, anyone, just put this world in to a freeze for a moment and let me let out my sadness which drives me insane. argh!